, , , ,

or – how I both love and hate Star Wars.

Actually to clarify that – how I love Star Wars*, and hate George Lucas, while still not really hating him totally, and kind of hating some of Star Wars.

Because that isn’t confusing AT ALL. ūüôā

* (note: apparently people find it annoying when I type it without the spaces – StarWars – so I am conceding to public opinion on this ONE THING for this post)

Like so many other people, I grew up with Star Wars. ¬†Episode IV was released the year I was born (I’m older tho, yay!) and the movies and action figures were an integral part of my childhood entertainment. ¬†Like so many other girls my age, I started out loving Luke (who can forget that tortured look on his face as he gazed across the deserts of his homeland?) and then threw him over for Han Solo. Total badass? Check. Looks good in tight pants? Check. DIDN’T make out with his sibling? Double check.

A million years later after I graduated high school, Star Wars was re-released. 1997 was going to be a BANNER YEAR. Star Wars back in the theaters? Hell yes. So awesome. ¬†And so we all went to the movies. You know what’s totally awesome? Star Wars in the theater with your Rocky Horror castmates. HOLY CRAP. Ever RHPS’d Star Wars? It RULES.


Hello, Cantina scene! ¬†Hello there, Han! ¬†Hey Greedo, what’s up? ¬†OH WAIT. WHAT THE HELL. ¬†In a (let’s face it) poorly thought out and rather pathetic effect change, all of a sudden we have Greedo shooting first. ¬†NOT COOL.

And it just went downhill from there.  The Han/Jabba scene? Awful.

I’m not going to list out all of the horrible changes, there are tons of other sites that will do that for you – all of them with more detail and way cleverer snark added. ¬†But you get the point.

And then! ¬†Finally – we’re going to get backstory! ¬†The first three parts to the story will explain everything and reveal all, and be totally awesome and fabulous! ¬†We’ve all waited years to find out how the Emperor got all wrinkly looking and now we will know!

I will say also that it’s really cool that all the releases were all done mid-May. Made for a great family bonding activity since they were released on or around my dad’s birthday. That part was fun.

Too bad the movies sucked. There were just SO many things that were awful about them – inconsistent story lines, horrible acting, characters that weren’t developed enough (or at all), characters that were developed but there was nothing to like about them anyway, and JAR-JAR. Gross.

Sure a big part of that could have been that we were all expecting way too much. I mean, how do you take a franchise that people have grown up with and idolized, and add to it and expect people to think that it’s as good as you want them to? You just can’t. ¬†BUT STILL.

And then the blu-ray release. Holy crap. BLINKING EWOKS? W.T.F. (of course I own the set tho)

I think what really did it for me though was the article that came out telling us how George Lucas said that all of his fans have been wrong about his movie for the past thirty years. To quote his interview in the Hollywood Reporter:

“I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.”

On top of that, talking about how his fans take his movie too seriously? SCREW YOU, GEORGE. You should BE so lucky that you’ve got rabid fans. Asshole.

That being said, even though I can just sit and pick apart the prequels, and I want to hate the whole Star Wars franchise because GL is such an incredible jackhole – that doesn’t stop me from watching the movies over and over. Even the prequels. I love to hate them. ūüôā

HOWEVER. ¬†When I decide that I need to watch all the movies (and I do, on a pretty regular basis) – I’ll watch the blu-ray version of the prequels, but when it comes to the original trilogy, I refuse to watch the extra stuff. ¬†Thankfully, Nick found me a copy of the trilogy that was released on dvd back in like, 2007 or something that has a bonus disc for each movie. And on the bonus disc? The original version of each movie. No Greedo shooting first, no extra special effects, and most certainly no fucking¬†Hayden Christensen ghost in the final scene.

And yes, I totally talk back to the screen when I’m watching the prequels. There’s a lot of “shut the fuck up, Jar-Jar you asshat” in my apartment when they’re on.

So yeah, there’s my Star Wars rant. And for those of you that have had to sit through listening to me rant about it? Sorry.