so I went to the gym tonight after showing the apt.  didn’t really want to go, but I figured that I might as well do this, you know?  I’m a little (okay kinda a lot) disappointed with my performance tonight – just did some walking on the treadmill.  30 minutes at 3.2 mph on a 7% incline. kept my heart rate up around 140ish.  should have done longer, harder, and faster, but i’m not going to beat myself up about it.  at least, not right now if i can help it.

so then afterwards i went and stood on the scale. holy shit. 181.2.  SERIOUSLY!?!?? doubleyew tee eff.  and yes, that’s with my tennis shoes on. but still. that’s horrid. i’m like, 5’8 or 5’9ish.  this just goes to show – those 30 pounds need to go. NEED TO GO DAMNIT.

*sigh. lame. guess i’ll be trying to do this more often, yeah?

(i would just like to point out that the reason this bothers me is because it really wasn’t all tha tlong ago that i was at more like 140 and felt like i was in much better shape. granted, that was when i was loading trucks at UPS, but still. i liked me then, i don’t like me now. numbers don’t necessarily matter, they’re just a measurement to start off with is all.)