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We all remember Jolt Cola from our childhoods.  Or perhaps our ‘not quite kids anymore but just can’t let go yet’hoods.  So of COURSE I had to try the JOLT energy drink.  Blue raspberry looked intriguing, so here goes.

First off, it has a weird cap with a big ol’ X on it.  Kinda cool though.  A light yank on the cap and POP the can opened.  Thankfully no real explosion, but it did sort of … steam? mist? something white and foggy looking.  The cap IS easily closeable though, so that’s a big bonus.  Oh, look!  It says ‘caution: contents under pressure’ real small under the the URL on the side by the bar code.  Silly me for not noticing that sooner.

The first smell of the drink smells like blue pixy stix.  Which is good because pixy stix RULE but kinda bad because as we all know, the blue ones are kinda nasty.   And yeah, it sorta tastes like blue pixy stix.  Blech.  But what did I expect? It says BLUE RASPBERRY right there on the can.  Somewhat larger and more prominent than the warnings about the can being primed to explode, even.  I DO like the resealable cap though.  Although I worry a bit that it’ll make me super tempted to close it, put it in the fridge, and forget about it.

So the can says CARBONATED ENERGY.  Only, how much energy?  I remember that JOLT was always like, super caffeinated.  As in, it’ll kill you if you get within 15 yards of it caffeinated.  Interesting that the catch tag on the can says “Energized with taurine, guarana, ginseng & vitamin B complex” and nothing about the caffeine.  Well, it’s got the guarana, so I guess the caffeiene callout would be redundant.  Let’s see how it measures up.

servings per container: about 2  (ABOUT two? like, they aren’t sure? or nobody’s ever finished it? what?)
total calories in can: 240 (ish, but who can tell since they’re non-specific on the servings)
caffeine amount: NOT LISTED.  What the hell? it’s JOLT ENERGY DRINK, how could they not list it?
taurine amount: ALSO not listed. ?  totally shady, JOLT
vitamins n junk: Protein and vitamin B6

Okay, this whole thing about not listing the taurine or caffeine or ANYTHING content is bothering me.  Lets check the website over at http://www.joltenergy.com and see what they say…. Ick. No. Nevermind, the website sucks.  Guess we’ll never know.

price: around $2.69 at 7-11 at Jackson/Wells

Initial taste:  Blue Pixy Stix

Claim to fame: OMG ITS JOLT … only… not really.

so here’s the scoring for this drink (five star scale) :

– Taste: ***
– Jitters factor: ***
– OFS (other fun stuff): ***
– Packaging: ******
overall rating: ****

(yeah I gave it a little extra boost even though the whole not-listing-amounts-of-stuff sucks because, c’mon, it’s JOLT.  Nostalgia goes a long way with me.)

Final thought:  Not the JOLT of your childhoods, and not exactly reliable.  But it doesn’t suck and if you’re looking for something to sorta remind you of those late night final fantasy gaming sessions, this might just work for you.

nostalgia in an exploding can

nostalgia in an exploding can