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Ugh.

Sometimes my stupid mouth says things that if I had taken two seconds to think about, I would have never said.  The rational side of me knows better.  Now typically this happens very rarely, and lots of times after a long horrible fight (that I’m winning anyway and don’t really care much about the outcome).   What really sucks is when it happens at a friend. At a really good friend who was just trying to be a good person and I was a shit.  So now here it is 134am on a Monday morning, I have to get up in like, four hours, and I can’t sleep because I feel horrible.  I feel like a horrible awful person. I know that technically I’m really not, I was just stupid and thoughtless, but that’s no less hurtful.

I’m hoping I get to apologize.

I’m hoping that I’m forgiven.

I’m hoping that we can call it squares and move on.

But I don’t know.  Would I forgive me? Sure.  But I’m the one with the big stupid mouth.  I guess we’ll see.

(Doesn’t help with the sleeping. I think I’ve given up on that for the night)

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