There are about 21 of us first cousins in my family – all pretty near the same age. On top of that, my mother has always had a circle of close friends who have had daughters that were in school with my sister and I. Add in also my own group of friends and my sister’s group of friends that I became close with, and what you get is a whole mess of weddings and babies. And what goes hand in hand with both? Showers. Seriously – I think so far in my life I’ve been to at least fifty bridal showers, bachelorette parties, baby showers, and weddings. And really – I’ve probably had fun at about half, which is a pretty good ratio I think. And for about two thirds of them, somebody inevitably turns to me with the whole “who could possibly be next, could it be you??” spiel. Especially at the family parties, aunts are notorious for that sort of thing.
And here’s the deal – I probably won’t be next. I’m one of those terminally single, childfree, perpetual renters that your mommas all warned you about. And I’m perfectly comfortable with that. I happen to like my life – I like to move around, I like to try new things – and I like my space and freedom to do all of the crazy things that pop into my head from time to time. I don’t think I’m missing out on anything, really.
Actually, I take that back. I am missing out on one thing. The parties. ☺ Seriously – just because I’m not getting married any time soon or having kids ever – does that mean that I should be eternally the guest, and never the hostess? I think not.
It’s not greedy, or selfish, to want a single girls’ shower – I mean really – is it that much different than a bridal or baby shower? We have these parties to celebrate a new step in someone’s life – and I think that choosing to not take those steps is just as big of a deal as choosing TO take those steps. Bigger in fact, when you get right down to it – because let’s be honest here – people will pity you if you say you’re never getting married and having kids.
Seriously! There are members of my own extended family that pity me because I didn’t decide to get hitched and knocked up and tied down at some random early age. I won’t go into a tirade right now about how silly that is –but I will add one small smug moment: I’m not divorced, either. (ouch. I’m a bitch)
But really – on to the party! Why not have a shower for a single girl? (Or guy, really – why do the ladies get all the presents? Let’s not be gender-exclusive here) I’ll tell you what – I need a set of nice dishes and silverware as much as the next married couple – perhaps even more, since single people tend to gather more often. And candlesticks! And another fondue pot! And a gravy boat! Especially the gravy boat – I have SUCH a thing for gravy.
I think that stores are starting to get the idea too. Macy’s still has its bow to the bride wedding channel – but they’ve added a wish list section. Same with Target. Crate & Barrel does it the best, though, I think. They have a Gift Registry section where you choose your type of event. Your choices are: wedding, commitment ceremony, anniversary, housewarming, birthday, and celebration. There’s a place for the “co-celebrant” but it’s not required (even though online it appears to be). It’s nice to see that the places I shop are starting to recognize that people don’t all fit into the whole cookie cutter Game-of-Life choices that were previously our only options.
And I lucked out too, I must say, with my mom. She and I have discussed this exact thing – and she’s totally on board. I’m sure that it’s due in no small part to the fact that she herself has hosted many a bridal/baby shower for her friends’ kids and several of my 800million girl first cousins. She’s agreed to do her part in ‘convincing’ the aunts that yes, this is seriously a shower and yes, the cousins should come. I mean, I went to theirs. And my friends think that I’m hilarious (and insane) anyway – this would just add to that I think.
But it’s not just about the presents. Even if it sort of sounds like it is. It’s partially about validation – my lifestyle is just as important as theirs are – even if Hallmark doesn’t have a card line yet. But the bigger part is – I just like to have parties. And I think that a single girl shower sounds like one of those fun things with absolutely no pressure on any of the guests. Especially from my aunts. I can pretty much guarantee that at my single girl shower NOBODY will come up to you and be all “well, so-and-so, are YOU NEXT!?!?!?”.